The two sides of stubborn
I'm learning how to wakeboard.
I've just about mastered how to stand up and follow a boat for a while. Now I'm trying to learn the cable system.
The cable system is in a giant square. When you reach the corner to go on the next edge, the cable goes slack... then suddenly pings out again.
I've been propelled more times than I can count into the air, squawking as I take alarmed flight and slam breathlessly into the water.
By half way through the session, I had transformed into an impatient, heavy-breathing mess, wetsuit full of lake water, dragging my useless board and body out of the water.
Walking back to the starting line once again, I started thinking about how long it took me to learn how to snowboard.
So there's two edges in board sports: heel and toe. You have to learn both to turn a snowboard. Toe edge you're facing uphill; heel edge, downhill.
Most people prefer to learn snowboarding by getting good at heel edge. You're facing down the mountain, you can see where you're going.
I fell in love with toe edge. I dare say I became a master at toe edge.
I'd go from one side of the mountain, rocketing along facing up the mountain, softly brake at the end, then switch to the other toe and go the other way.
Every time I'd try and turn, I couldn't do it. I'd go straight into a clumsy toe edge or chicken out.
Why?
Because I was sticking with what was easy. What felt comfortable.
On day 5 of my snowboarding trip, I spent the whole morning working on my heel edge. Teeth gritted, heart pumping, thighs on fire, I edged down the hill bit by bit. I waited to catch my edge and fall face down and break all my teeth, but I didn't.
Five hours later, I tried to turn...
And just like that, I was snowboarding.
I turned slowly but surely all the way down the mountain.
It took me days to admit I needed to learn a new skill. To try something new, I couldn't keep doing the old things I had been doing all along.
To learn something, I had to rewrite what I'd known before.
And I had to be patient.
Because the same stubborn determination that made me stay on my toe edge for a whole week is the same determination that made me get back on that ski lift day after day.
I walked back to the wakeboarding queue and grabbed hold of the cable, grinning ear to ear. 'Let's try that again!'