I see your face in an atlas

Song of today:

https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/1kKbVnjBHvRSMJUsNOQp2h

The phrase came to my head last night from a mishearing of lyrics - ‘I see your face in an atlas’. How to linger on this image? The idea of travelling the whole world to find someone/one’s self ‘I search the world to find it / in narrow alleys, broad vistas, through hot days and restless sleep’ and then realising it was there at home all along.

Today is one of the more creatively reluctant days, but I did finish a chapter of ‘Summer Broken’. My dreams were difficult and vivid, with mourning and tears, and I woke with an aching tiredness. As I wrote slowly, over a lingering cup of hot English tea, the winter sun meekly rising, I kept in mind my thoughts from yesterday - thinking of writing in rhythm and poetry. I spoke the words under my breath.

In twenty four hours, I notice the change to my process. So simple, but where before I was fitting in other’s rhythms, now I’m slowly navigating the course to my own. I am falling in love with my own steps on the page, the imprints of the pen on blank canvas. Most of all, I am finding pleasure in the process. Making each chapter a simple piece of art, rather than trying to overcomplicate the process.

Forging my way outwards, while finding my way home.

Current thoughts on house projects:

• We officially move next week. If all goes well, we get the keys in four days. I have been packing all my sentimental belongings away. The family home for the past 14 years is slowly becoming emptier.

• My sister has suggested spray-painted my tired piano a new colour. I love the idea. It’s a 15 year old piano, not of particular good condition, but I’m insisting on bringing it down to the new house or it’ll be years before I get a brand new one.

• Planning to set up some kind of Instagram to track process on the house…